Macron expected to side with Trump after failing with dating app plan – POLITICO

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly column on the lighter side of politics.

How was Valentine’s Day? I hope you remembered the old French nursery rhyme…

The roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If you vote for Macron,

No one will have sex with you.

Unfortunately for the youth wing of French President Emmanuel Macron’s La République En Marche, his plan to get young people to vote by running a campaign on dating sites has been met with a firm “leftist blow”.

Young Macronists have put up ads featuring attractive young people about to kiss or whisper to their partner their thoughts on Macron’s troop withdrawal from Mali on sites like Tinder, Grindr and Bumble (the last, I believe, is a dating site for bees) with the slogan “Come and match with democracy”.

But the campaign fell short of dating sites, which opposed political solicitation.

If Macron has any sense, he’ll head straight for another corner of the online world – and this one perhaps even more likely to lead to an STD: Donald Trump’s new TRUTH Social platform (and yes, well sure, one of the words is in all caps), which was supposed to launch this month but was delayed to March. SAD!

You can click the TRUTH Social website now, but you’re getting an error message (either that or I’ve already been blocked for once calling Trump an “apricot mangled beast from hell”).

Fair play for Trump though; trying to launch a more right-wing tech platform full of hate and conspiracy theories than Facebook and Twitter is an impressive ambition. Its initial press claimed it would “stand up to the tyranny of Big Tech” and “give everyone a voice,” which is great because there’s so little support for it now.

But Macron probably isn’t welcome at a Trump-backed venture because their bromance was brief – although of course it gave us this very long handshake (the only time the words “Trump’s hands” and “long” were used in the same sentence).

The former US president is more of an Eric Zemmour guy these days and gave the far-right Frenchman some advice: ‘Never give in, hold on, be brave’ – which sounds more like the words of a Adele song than an instruction on how to win an election.

Trump reportedly added that “it’s tenacity and endurance that ultimately pays off at the end of a campaign.” Sure – that and incite a riot when you lose.

LEGENDS CONTEST

‘New Metropolitan Police chief promises to crack down on those who attended breakup parties.’

Can you do better? E-mail [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

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Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best of our mailbag – there’s no price other than the gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is far more valuable than money or booze.

“This will show Putin how tough we are”, by Mary Tucker.

Paul Dalison is POLITICS‘s Slot News Editor.

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